The Problem with Church is Not Femininity

When we call the sloppy sentimentalism that has overrun many churches “feminine,” we do a disservice to Godly women everywhere. Over the past 15 to 20 years, there has been no shortage of people claiming the church has become soft and ineffective because it has become feminine. This tactic was a favorite of Mark Driscoll, but Driscoll was not alone.

I am not an egalitarian. I am a firmly set complementarian, but I am troubled by how some of my fellow men talk about the problem of the church being too feminine. What they often label “feminine” has nothing to do with being a woman, much like machismo has nothing to do with being a man.

When a church sings theologically vapid songs loaded with sentimentality, or when a pastor neglects the word of God and preaches a sermon full of sappy stories that end in a feel-good crescendo, many Godly women I know roll their eyes and want to leave. These women of God know what worship is supposed to be, hunger for the word, and are entirely feminine. When men speak of sloppy sentimentality as feminine, I often wonder if it is thinly veiled misogyny.

Amongst a group of Christian women, there will be women who hunger for the truth, and others who would rather have worship be more like a feel-good film, but never forget that the same dynamic exists amongst a group of men. Many men would have no problem if the Bible was sidelined as long as church felt like a motivational seminar. Femininity is not the issue, just like masculinity is not the issue. What is at issue are distorted views of both.

-D. Eaton

3 thoughts on “The Problem with Church is Not Femininity

  1. I agree. I don’t think femininity nor masculinity are the issues in the church. What you’ve described hits the nail on the head exactly – the true heart of worship. It’s not emotionalism or sentimentality. True worship is done in Spirit and in Truth. It’s not the feel good stories, music or singing, it’s God’s Spirit in us.

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  2. The issue is walking in the flesh, rather than walking in the spirit. Both men and women can be fleshly. Most in the visible church today live to please SELF. That’s not a feminine thing, but a human thing. Thank you for posting this. Sometimes it seems like women get blamed for everything bad. LOL

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